On Being a Single Lady
Up in the club. (On my couch, actually.)
Just broke up. (Almost a year ago, technically.)
Doing my own little thing. (That part is true.)
For not the first time in my adult life, but for the first time in a while, I find myself solo. In my house. That’s all mine. All by myself. (If you’re like me and tend to stay friends/live with exes long after breaking up, you’ll note this is an important distinction.)
Well, there’s Oliver, so not entirely solo. He’s decent at cuddles, actually. And I have hard evidence he’ll bite the hell out of anyone he perceives as an intruder. But otherwise, we all know he’s too pretty to work.
Truth be told, I’ve had some time to get used to the idea. (See above regarding time since my breakup). Still, it’s kind of weird. Official.
Unlike my prior adventures in singledom, I didn’t choose my house for a single lady lifestyle. There is nothing low-maintenance about my fourteen acres and 1986 Kubota. I know my mess of a barn and half-built deck judge me. And every time I hear the drip of my leaky tub, I shake my fist at the idiot who half-assed half the construction. (Hollis!)
Also unlike my prior forays, I’m in my (gasp) forties. While this part seems daunting, it’s proved surprisingly liberating. I think I finally know what I want. And while I’m not in that elusive land of loving my body, I’ve landed squarely in the realm of life’s too short to hate it. (I’m happy to report this passes for confidence, which turns out is sexy as hell.)
Where was I going with this? I’m not sure, to be honest. Once a girl gets a Beyonce song in her head, things can go sideways pretty quick.
I’ll just go back to my wine. Lamenting the back pasture that hasn’t been brush-hogged yet this season. Wondering if I can fit a guest bed, a writing desk, and a barre setup in my newly vacant spare room. Thinking about my blank walls and empty bookshelves.
And, maybe just a little, dreaming about that person who’s out there and might one day put a ring on it. After all, I’m a hopeless romantic. It says so right there in my tagline.
